Dear Granduncle Edmund..

This post is dedicated to my granduncle Edmund.Your finally home.

My mum called me up at 8 today and told me that a mild heart attack had stolen my granduncle Edmund last night.He was in the ICU in Bintulu.

Let me tell you a story.

I barely could remember my granduncle Edmund because at the time i was an infant.I was born in Kuching and stayed there for a year or so and my mum and dad stayed partly with granduncle Edmund and he took care of me as a kid.Then we came back to KL and I never saw him again.

Till last Christmas.

He was in KL to get an eye operation to get his cataracts removed and stopped by for Christmas.Goodness knows how,but when my aunty told him it was Jeremy he gave me a frail hug."Jeremy you've grown so much!"

He sat with his sister,my grandmother Katie.My grandmother preaching to him.He recollecting things to my grandmother.



Then,he sat with me.He actually took my hand and told me stories.So many stories.And he told it with the perfect English that so many of us lack nowadays.

He told me about how I was like in Bintulu as a baby.How it was like growing up with my grandmother and grandaunties.How the Japanese would steal my greatgrandmother's chickens.

He told me of all the wonders he had seen.How the world changed so much.How he dreamed of so many things he never thought would exist in his lifetime but had the privilage to see.How a person could be walking down the street and be able to speak to someone else so far away.Such a charming man.He was so happy to be able to see again after the cataracts were removed.

Then when I came back to AIMST my mum called to say he was diagnosed with stomach cancer.On Friday my dad said he had a heartattack and was in the ICU.Today he was home.

Things happen so fast.Those were my last memories of him.Barely just 2 months from this post I met him.And I wanted to meet him again.So many things I wanted to ask.So many questions.

Maybe God gave him sight so he could see the world one last time.That I could meet him one last time.

Dear granduncle Edmund I love you.I'm so glad I had the pleasure to meet you.I say a prayer that I will see you again when my time comes.

My clarity...

Surprisingly I had a moment of clarity in my lecture today.Computer applications in biotechnology was the lecture and as Dr.Devanai was going on and on about NCIB and BLAST and comparing protein samples on an online database I received it.Clarity.The clarity that I was in the line I wanted to be.

I always asked myself, what if I had made a mistake submitting to my mum's decision that law was unprofitable.Or abandoning my high school passion for dentistry.Or giving up my dream of becoming a stand-up comedian.Far-fetched as that may have been.

But listening to my lecturer rant and realising i was loving it.Understanding it.I realised maybe i had done the right thing.

I've had many crazy tendencies when it came to career decisions.I even had an inkling to join the cloth as a priest.Laugh.I know you're thinking it.Haha.

But sometimes it's the moments of clarity that re-assure you you're on the road that has your name spelled at the end.Those precious moments,fleeting as it maybe.Wether it's clarity that you're with the one you're supposed to be with.That you're where you're supposed to be at.

Tomorrow I'm going to wake up unsure.Insecure with the decisions I've made.The clarity all but spent.But that's where eACH of us has to reach deep down and clutch to the clarity we receive.Wether it's a perceived gift from God.Perhaps it's His reassurance that you're doing okay.Or for you atheists perhaps we're sub-conciously giving ourselves a pat on the back.

Classes start in an hour and a half.My insecurities are creeping back into cognition.

I'm just glad clarity stopped by like a lost love.Stopped,had tea,gave me a pat on the head.And disappeared again.

John Mayer's solo is coming up for Gravity on Winamp.

Perfect :)