Alone in a crowded place..

Have you ever had the feeling that your alone in the world?
Caught me by surprise. A hot saturday afternoon in the freakin' study area.(Always overcrowded,jeesh).

And boom! it hit me like the stench of the dissection hall. I felt like i was alone in the world. Fuck!! I rarely curse here. But yeah.

And it's not like a feel-good midnight contemplative feeling that makes you think. It's this depressing,overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Like your the last person on earth and the only person you can really talk too are the thoughts in your bloody head. Damn.

I actually panicked and looked around to see if anyone else noticed the feeling. I imagined it would be an epidemic sort of feeling. Expected to see everyone looking around wondering what was this crappy feeling. To justify my sudden bewilderment at this onset of depression.

But no,everyone looked peachy fine studying,chatting (the term STUDY area means nothing anymore),trying to score some foundation chick,trying to impress some random guy. Hmm. And yet every person there seemed detached from the big picture. Like in the movies where the protaganist is standing and everyone is passing him by in a blur. Through my eyes at that moment the place looked like a canvas and i was the painting and everyone else was just background colours. I panicked and left for my room.

As i type i still feel detached from the world. Maybe its been the depressing week. Too many disappointments,too much work,too little satisfaction once it's done.

Hell i don't know. I hope everyone has these I'M-ALONE-IN-THE-WORLD bouts or I'm in trouble. I hope it lasts into the night so at least then i can relish in it.

I need an understanding Marge Simpson(Why marge simpson?Ah,but that needs to be explained in another post) to sing me Jumper. Is that asking too much?

He understands..

Misinterpret,misread,
The look on your face,
My feelings of dread,
You see me as if I were dead.

I cry out,no fault of my own,
I need Your strengh,I cant do this alone,
I need some peace,the cold like a stone,
It shatters the bone.

But listen He calls,
Your never alone,
Misread,misunderstood,no longer in tone,

I'm with you He says,no matter the thoughts,
I'm with you He says,no matter the cost,
They will not listen,but I am ever attentive,
I gently call when you get defensive.

When darkness comes,and you feel alone,
Remember that I never have left you out on your own,
When most vunerable,never you fear,
I give you my strengh,for I put you here.



An aurora,one of the most beautiful things I have yet to see.

Rhet Miller Part 2...

I find myself drawn to the chorus of this song yet again.

Hmm,well it is a great song. Justifying myself in self-defense.

Random. Ya' know whats worse than being obese?

Breaking free from it only to realise that deep down you still are. Or that deep down your not really sure if you are at all.

Perhaps realizing that you want to be again. Or worse.

You didn't have to change at all.

Story of my life.

Heh.