For my mother

I hope i'm just in time i pray ,

To get a gift for mother's day,

I thought i'd make it up to you, im not home you see,

I have exams due.

I want to gift the sky and stars,

But that' s not sold in Madura's,

To send you all that my heart has,

(Sigh) But that's not stocked in IBS.

Perhaps something from Central Square,

To show the world how much i care,

Perhaps something from Queensbay,

Would suit this very special day.

But nothings seems to fit just right,

A brand new shiny stove? Not quite,

I puzzled wondering what to do,

The perfect gift to give to you.

And then it dawned on me, you see,

My gift to you shall always be,

To grow up like you'd want me to,

Brave, strong, honest, true.

With humble hands that seek the Lord,

A prayerful man that walks with God,

My gift to you shall always be,

Your legacy that dwells in me.

Who I am hates who I've been...

I was having a conversation an hour ago that made me think and want to blog. Who I am hates who I have been. The naive little boy I used to be. The sad things I used to say and do. The careless things I let slip. The freinds i made and lost. I wish I could take it all back. A friend of mine keeps re-iterating that I've changed. And then refuses to enlighten me as to wether its for the better or worse.

I hear the reverberating footsteps of my current self trekking through my memories. My past flashing like HD TV's in a electronic shop with one show on. The Jeremy Show. And it's all re-runs.

I'll admit I'd done some really stupid things 7 years ago. Like joining the School English club to meet english speaking chciks from other schools. (In retrospect, that was both a good and bad decision) (Heh) But that's just the surface. I wonder what happened to all my buddies back them. Some are here, some are there, some living well, some have passed on to God's grace. My brothers.


I am angered. At myself mostly for not keeping in touch. If only I had said more. Maybe less. Sigh. But I can't change that, none of us can.

Have you had one of those days? When your alone and your thoughts drift to the what-could-have-beens? The If-only's and the I-shoudn't-haves? These situations that we ironically produce in the present for future retrospect, even whilst reflecting on the same ones we conjured years ago?


I'm going to wish i could 'tampar' my curent self 20 years from now. I guess i haven't changed much

But perhaps, ah perhaps, it was those same situations that molded who I am today. I will spend a good 3 hours tonight wondering what I would be if I were any different. Care to join me in the proverbial sunset of your past?


Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. -The Wonder Years-